Mission: Improbable

As I gazed out my dual-paned window I quickly noticed that the dull, burnt sienna shades of our belated winter months had rapidly begun to change. Almost everywhere I surveyed there were variations of jade, emerald, pea-green and olive hues. Artistic and beautiful. I couldn’t stop looking and admiring the metamorphose. To everything there is a season and rebirth was in full bloom.

It’s here. The time has come.

Since just post Christmas I’ve been preparing myself for this day. My rendezvous with my pending destiny is upon me and hopefully all my work will have paid off. The many hours of dedication at the fitness center has transformed my body into one that can, and will, tackle anything that comes my way. I’ve worked aerobically and weight trained to the point of almost exhaustion but it all has a purpose … to be able to control and manipulate what lies in wait.

An additional angle of my contingency plan for this momentous day is all the extensive equipment and specialized clothing that is requisite. To me it is only too obvious that total commitment is ultimately necessary to complete the task at hand. My shopping was concluded weeks past with lists after lists and checking them twice. From head to toe I invested in the proper gear and now I have them placed reverently on my bed as they shall become a part of my awaiting form. The excitement is beginning to overtake me and yet my training in yoga, meditation, musing and rumination has allowed my breathing to stay unruffled and composed. It’s truly the only way to receive the greatest gift that is offered before me. My destiny awaits and to fail is not an option.

I decided to slide toward the transparent pane and peer outside only to remark, once again, as to just how extraordinary this day had become. Earlier, as I was awaking I seemed to be under the impression that today was about to repeat the previous thirty, meaning one more dreary, uninspiring, tedious, uneventful moment in time that I would never recall if queried. My pessimism had been honed through years and years of living in the Midwest or actually in Northeastern Wisconsin. Springtime is and always will be a tiny portal of time that I can only speculate on as the calendar is but a reference point which rarely correlates with ‘spring-like’ temperatures. More often than not … winter turns rapidly to summer with little or no warning.

This is exactly the reason for my training, drilling, perspiring and preparatory measures. No time to waste. Not now.

It’s here. The time has come.

I returned from the window and stood directly in front of the mirror. Slowly I disrobed and gazed at what all my hard work had become. My body had mutated from a giggly, immature looking creature with deer legs, pec-less chest and insect-like arms into a bronze, athletic, hard-body that only Chuck Norris would look down upon. I admired myself for but a moment because I had yet to accomplish a single feat and there was no telling if I would. Just a chassis means nothing if I can’t pull off the intended mission.

Focus. Concentrate.

I began dressing and started at the feet. This operation called for proper, dry footwear so everything I had picked up was water and sweat wicking material. Tight fitting, high socks were the style of choice and I rolled them up my large calves. My undergarments were also tight fitting, compression style that made movement easy and unencumbered. My pants were black, cargo style in case I needed extra pockets for evidence, small tools, trash or anything else for that matter. For my shirt I put an additional but looser sweat-wicking long-sleeve T over the top. Perfect. As I stood I grabbed the second set of socks and began placing them over the first set but I rolled them over the bottom of my pants leg and continued rolling them up so nothing would drag or become lodged in the pants themselves. My light hiker boots were next and slid on as I had hoped. No chaffing, for fear of blisters could become a huge problem. Everything was fitting which was proving my capability to prepare efficiently. I never doubted myself.

I threw a wind-breaker over my shoulders as the trees were swaying in the distance even though the temperature was on the rise. I quickly shed the jacket as the rustling fabric’s noise level was much too elevated. I couldn’t be heard in this situation. Not in the early stages. Next was the gear. I pulled on a pair of thin, black SCUBA gloves for gripping ability as well as protection from foreign substances. My upper lip was glistening with beads of sweat from either anticipation or from my internal heat rising up within myself. Even my throat was becoming slightly tight so again I had to calm myself and to trust in my exercises. Indeed I was prepared for this day so I wasn’t agitated. My eye gear consisted of UV blocking sunglasses that were also polaroid for the utmost in daylight surveillance. The wrap-around style was to block out glare from the sides. All properly fitted. I picked out a dark-colored baseball hat for head protection in case of some minute falling debris. As I was nearing my final component, I stood back and took a deep breath, shut my eyes for an instant and then opened them. I turned slightly to stare at myself in the full-length mirror a second time. The shock was rather alarming but yet imposing. Humorous even. I looked like a cross between a SWAT team member, an alien and one of the Ghostbusters. I licked my lips and turned back towards the door, stepping carefully … stealth like. I had to get in my clandestine mode to effectively get todays job done without outside knowledge. I grabbed the final item, noise-cancelling earphones, placed them over my ears and bound for the hallway.

I continued walking towards the outside doorway while going over everything in my head. Each step was accounted for but you can never be too careful. “Check twice, cut once.”

There was no one around at this hour so I had the time to complete my task without interruption, which was in everyone’s best interest. Collateral damage has always been an aspect of these missions that I never could get used to. They were taking a toll on me as well as I’m not completely sure how long I’ll be able to do this. How long?

I opened the door and  slipped outside into the glorious weather. Even as I watched and witnessed the day before me through the windows I couldn’t have imagined or appreciated how the warmth of the sun would feel on my dark clothes. Instant heat and sweat began pouring out of me and it actually invigorated me as I quickened my pace.

Before me was a huge sliding entryway. I bent down to get a telling look at the expansive entrance just as a speeding vehicle came whipping up the driveway with no regard to human life. I turned and grabbed inside my pants pocket, scanning with my fingers only to realize I had left my weapon upstairs.

“Oh my God!”

The  dusty, metal door to the halting sedan opened. Tina climbed out. She scrutinized at me with great curiosity, nearly dropping her bag and posed, with great anticipation, a question, “What in the hell are you doing?”

I replied with succinct and seemingly entitled authority, “Mowing the lawn.”

She slowly secured the car door, stared at me with significant disappointment and continued inside the house … shaking her head with sadness and regret.

Thankfully … no one was hurt.

Reiny