The Four Seasons

Having grown up in northern Wisconsin I’ve always had the opportunity to celebrate the changing of the seasons. Each one has it’s merits but for me, summer is chief. Simply put, the warmer the better. I loath most days that begin and end in darkness with only sub-zero temperatures in between. There’s no doubt that Autumn is both beautiful in sight and scent but the drawback is that Winter is fast approaching. Spring is equally lovely and fresh full of  new beginnings and yet true warmth is yet weeks away. I relish the sun on my pale, pasty skin. Today, I’m stuck in mid-January with Seasonal Affective Disorder.Yep, a real thing … to someone. For the past millennium this was called ‘cabin-fever and one just needed to get outside. One can only assume that an Rx will be necessary in the coming months.

I decide that indeed it is Winter and that I’m quite famished. I will make the move. The grocery store awaits.

Go figure, it’s freezing outside. I decide on some outerwear that is somewhere in between that winter sports freak, who was cross-country skiing down my street with his Aspen-style sweater and sweat-wicking Under-Armour tights, and Charlie Brown from the Peanuts comic strip. Comfortably warm yet moveable. My hunger pangs will be diminished shortly.

Being it a Sunday I won’t be the only customer roaming the aisles but this won’t deter my quest. I’m out of the house and not returning without a bag, or two, brimming with goodies. Winter be damned.

As I approached the sliding doors, (and as I almost melted by the scent of fresh bread and pastries being pumped out of the exhaust in front of those same sliding doors) I thought I recognized a couple entering just ahead of me. My usual Sunday is to grocery shop but not at this hour of the morning. Normally I awaken earlier and when I do, this same couple are here then as well. My mind wandered as to their excuse as to why they, too, were later than usual. I let it go and attacked the produce.

There they were. My co-shoppers. At least I think it was them. There was something different about them and I couldn’t, yet, put my finger on what it was. Yes, they appeared in clothes that certainly I had never seen them don but physically it must be them. Or was it? As I said, their jackets gave the impression that they were almost homeless and this had never crossed my mind previously. They both were missing colorful knit hats and their hair seemed disheveled. Plus, they were also picking through the produce section and I had not once noticed them there at any time previously. I was close enough to them to get their attention and I gave them a heart-felt greeting.

“Good morning,” I said.

The two simultaneously turned, looked and just grumbled at me.

Holy crap, I thought to myself. Indeed they looked like the same people but their actions and response was unlike previous meetings. I believe they recognized me but their demeanor was like I was a total stranger. As if I was in the “Bizarro-Grocery World.” (DC Comics fans … you know who you are)

So as not to ruin my shopping date I pushed on without them on my mind. I cruised the aisles with reckless abandon and to lift me out of my January doldrums I picked out some items I normally do without. Eatable objects but barely qualify as food. No matter, I felt powerful.

There they were. Pushing their cart directly past the sliced ham with the free buns. They never walk past. The employee even gave them a greeting and asked if they were ordering their normal pound along with the buns. Again, they both gave out a snort and continued on as the gal shook her head in amazement. What was wrong with these two?

Past the chicken wings. Past the ground beef. Their cart was full of canned goods, baking supplies, bulk nuts, pre-wrapped sweets and an abundance of other non-perishables. Again, never have I noticed their cart crammed with this fare. Granted, it’s not like I’m Ellery Queen or watched these two as if I was but one notices patterns and this was a major break for these two. Seemingly not happy. Not smiling. Not preparing for a gathering of a sort. They just seemed lost.

I completed my journey and headed towards the check-out, feeling a sense of accomplishment & excitiment. I was greeted with one more, “good morning,” and a mandatory, “did you find everything?” I replied with an ‘of course’ and prepared to pay.

In the check-out in front of me the former “shopping acquaintances” were doing the same. I could hear them continue their growling at the checker and my thoughts came back to as to why they were so different? Surely it was them but in such an altered way caused them to be completely transformed. The woman was actually tearing into some Little Debbie cakes even before they passed through the bar-code reader. This really was becoming one peculiar scene.

I allowed them to leave the store ahead of me just so I could see their vehicle and  as to where they were going to stash all of their purchases. As soon as I tracked their movements, which were becoming even more sluggish and tired, towards which direction they were headed, all of it began to make sense. There, before my eyes was their full-sized conversion van without any of their decals or banners. No flags or extra paint plastered all over the sides. Nothing draped over the top of the vehicle to flow in the wind. The van looked as sad as they were. The former party wagon was now on hiatus and it’s primary owners were the same. One long, lonely banner across the back bumper was all that remained but it’s message was quite clear. It said:

“Gone to Hibernate. See you at the draft.”

Oh yeah, had I mentioned that this just took place this past Sunday … the day after the Packers playoff loss to the 49ers?

I must correct myself from paragraph one. Here in Wisconsin there are only two seasons:

1)  The Packers season

2) The Packers off-season

I’m still a bit hypothermic but at least I’m conscious and not hungry anymore.