Friends and Their Pets

I have no pets. There was only one time in my life when there was an animal in our family home and it was between when I was 15 & 18, or there about. Our dog, or at least it appeared to be of the canine variety, was angry. Angry at all times. He was not a “people-dog.” A loner, not a cuddler. In fact, if you felt inclined to approach this creature of Satan, he’d growl, snap and attempt to remove an appendage of yours. As I finally was preparing to head off to college, my younger sister looked up at me and said with pleading, tearful eyes, “take him with you so I can sleep at night?”

I bolted through the door and never looked back.

The other day, as I was at work, a female friend of mine approached me with a look of excitement. I had noticed that she had just finished a conversation with another co-worker and seemed all pumped up. In knowing her as I did, I braced myself for an all-out assault on my space.

“Hey Jim, I’ve something to tell you!”

Uh, really? I thought to myself.

“My Jack Russell attacked and killed a rabbit yesterday!”

Oh the pride in her face. The pure satisfaction she had in divulging this information to me was overwhelming her. Her hands reached out towards my face as if she needed to slap a reaction out of me to become as euphoric and thrilled as she was. It was precisely as if one of her daughters had just passed the bar exam.

I was stunned. As dumbfounded as I assuredly appeared, I took a step back from any wielding arms and said, “that’s so cool!”

She went on for a bit on how she discovered her pet’s latest, and obviously most difficult kill so I listened as intently as I could muster but in reality I was horrified. My nausea wasn’t for the circle of life killing field I had in my head but for her pure delight in knowing she had this dog that was like John Rambo.

Now, a Jack Russell Terrier is historically a hunting dog. A cousin to a Fox Terrier, if I’m not mistaken, so for it to knock off a rabbit is exactly what it’s bred to do. Not an unusual situation. If this breed doesn’t kill a small mammal then you may have something to talk about. These dogs are high energy, fast hunters. It’s what they do. Rabbits are very common in Northern Wisconsin so they are easy prey for a predator like a Jack Russell. Their only defenses are to zig-zag through the snow, to “freeze” as if they are statues or hit their burrows before they are seized. That’s it. Hide or die. They can’t really thump them to death with their hind legs like in the cartoons.

I pretty much allowed my friend to embellish her account of this supreme act of death and then I, slowly, backed away and tried to forget the whole thing. I do this with most people who talk about their pets as if they are actual members of their families. Don’t misunderstand, I do comprehend their passion for their animals bit it’s just that I can’t sympathize with them. We can agree to disagree.

The following day, as I walked down the aisle to clock in for my daily routine, there before me was the same friend speaking with another gal. As I passed them I overheard Rambo’s owner say something like, “obviously my dog is much tougher than yours.” They giggled and fawned over these words and yet I knew, I knew that she meant this description as fact. Again, her self-worth and pride was gushing from every pore. Curious and astounding to me.

I’d like to advocate for the little bunny. I should’ve shown my outrage that this pure hunting dog, probably headed outdoors to take care of business, spotted a cute, furry little “Bugs” and immediately stalked it and took it’s life. Even I root for a serial killer now and then, (I love the Showtime series, “Dexter”) but if I were a pet owner, I may be a little ticked off. Knowing the pet owners that I do, these animals almost always sleep with their owners. Surely not all but you can’t tell me that there aren’t times when this particular pet doesn’t spring from the floorboards and spend some quality time on their bed. Don’t kid me, they do. Now what? Where does the excess rabbit fur go? Huh? Rabbit blood? Oh yeah, it’s on there. Real nice.

I have no doubt that the Jack Russell was greeted with some extra special treats for being exactly what he is: a hunting dog. Fine. Good for the pup. What I don’t want to see is a photo montage of this dog all dressed up in a cute Halloween or Christmas outfit with a rabbit’s foot necklace. Ewww.

I’m just glad this animal hadn’t run across an injured deer. No telling where that mount would be displayed.